Respite

A friend of ours (actually more of a friend of Alec's) was going home to Little Falls with her fiancé this weekend. She asked if Alec could come along and there was no more than a nano-second of delay before I enthusiastically said "YES!"

Alec is a great young man.  For the most part, he's able to entertain himself and makes very few demands upon us.  But there are times when Barb and I really enjoy just being two older adults and going on a date.

The respite also includes the weather:  we've had a streak of nice days with clear and sunny skies and temps in the low to mid-40s.  Kinda Colorado-like weather where a sweater and a down vest or lighter jacket can replace the heavy winter coat.

So, our empty-nest weekend started around 6:30.  For me.  Barb's trial team had caught felony arraignments this week and she has a "case distribution" system that assigns points to each case based upon seriousness of the charge, complexity of the case, and whether the moon is in alignment with Saturn or somesuch thing.  It takes time.

She made it home at 9PM and clearly was too tired to do much celebrating that night.  Plus there had been a miscommunication about dinner plans.

But the next morning we both slept in and had a lazy start to the day.  Drove over to Stillwater and walked up and down the main street, poking into this shop and that, etc.  Barb loves to check out the antique shops so I'd take a quick survey to see if there was anything of interest and then sit and relax.

We caught lunch at one of our favorite restaurants where the prices are moderate and the portions are huge.  (It's a Mexican restaurant name "Your Mama's Nachos")  After lunch we did some more "just looking" in shops, ran into some people we know who previously attended our church, chatted and then finally drove up to Marine-on-St-Croix to see how spring is progressing.

Last night we had a light supper of sausage, cheese and crackers plus a bottle of wine and watched some romantic-comedy whose name eludes me and whose plot I can just barely recall.  But it was nice to just spend the time together and talk about this and that.

Today we get back into the swing of things.  I have a listing appointment.  She has to meet a client who's in jail waiting trial.  Alec comes back in the early evening and he'll meet up with me at the Gopher basketball game.

Gosh, this was a nice weekend.  And, gosh, it will be nice to have Alec back.

Finally a request:  if you know a family who has a physically or developmentally disabled teen or young adult living at home, even a 4 or 6-hour block of "respite care" can be incredibly rewarding for the parents.  An overnight respite visit is like a slice of heaven.  And it helps the teen or young adult to get away from the folks from time to time as well.

PS:  about our friends who provided respite care.  While Alec was high-school age, we "hired" Angela for a couple of summers to look after Alec during the day.  The two of them bonded very well.  And, from time to time, parents of other friends of Alec would ask if they could add their son or daughter for a day or two.  Angie was a student at Bethel so she lived close-by and would also watch Alec on some nights when we'd go out.

For the past six or so years, Alec and Angie have retained their friendship.  When Angie began dating Luke, Alec expanded the friendship (somewhat reluctantly and with some jealousy).   Alec and a friend went up to visit Angie's family a few summers ago and they expanded their family to include him.  He's been to birthday parties for grandmas, family picnics, etc since and seems to get an invite 2-3 times a year.

It's been a great relationship for Alec and (I think) for Angie.  And "respite care through the kindness of friends" is mighty, mighty welcome!