Twenty Two Years Ago

A little over 22 years ago, Alec was born. As most know, Alec has Down Syndrome. Neither my wife, Barb, nor I were aware that he would have Down Syndrome prior to his birth as he was too active a fetus to permit amniocentesis. Since both Barb's mother and grandmother had given birth at an older age than Barb was, we thought the odds were with us.

I was stunned to find out. Barb tells me that she wasn't as surprised and that she had noticed some of the physical appearances when Alec was just born.

Now there's a range of advanced tests that will permit much earlier identification of Down Syndrome. And there's a corresponding increase in the rate of abortions of fetuses that test positive for Down Syndrome. People ask me what we would have done if we'd known at the time Barb was pregnant -- would we have carried through with the pregnancy.

While both of us are pro-choice, I think I'd have a terribly difficult time encouraging an abortion. But I also remember how stunned and scared I was when we received the news. Fortunately, we met with genetics staff from the hospital and also with volunteers who worked with Down Syndrome infants and children -- including a mom of a young boy with Down Syndrome.

We were able to get most of our questions answered and they were able to shatter many of the myths and preconceptions. And, most importantly, we realized that the differences between Alec and his brothers were not all that important -- and that we could no more predict what would happen with Alec at the age of one day than we were able to predict for our other three sons when they were a day old.

So I can understand on one hand how an expectant couple (or mother) would react after first getting the test results. I can only hope that they/she slow things down enough to talk to others, get more information and then make an informed decision.

Being Alec's father has been different than being dad for the other boys. Not better. Not worse. But different. And I wouldn't do things differently knowing what I know now -- I just wish I'd known then how it would have turned out.

But what parent doesn't say that?!?

Introducing Drew and Megan Mons!

We're so pleased and happy to announce that Drew and Megan were married Saturday (9-22-07). They're a great couple and, speaking from a wholly objective basis of course, a very attractive couple. (By the way, you can click on the photo to enlarge it and right-click on the photo to save it to your computer if you wish!)





Drew and Megan met in the fall of 2004. Megan was working with Minnesota Advocates and came to deliver a presentation at Cretin-Derham Hall where Drew was teaching. He told us that he was immediately attracted to her and sent her a few e-mails under the pretense of getting more information about lesson plans, etc. Drew confided that he'd ask co-workers to critique his e-mails to Megan ... and he'd analyze each response to see if there was an inkling of interest. (Thanks in particular to Martha who encouraged him to continue the campaign of intrigue!)

Finally, he screwed up the courage and asked her to a dinner date. They met and talked ... and talked ... and talked. Apparently they found a lot of common interests and after a lengthy dinner conversation, walked from Hamline and Grand to the Cathedral and back. I talked to Drew a day or two after that first date and he told me he was really, really interested.

There was, however, a hitch: In February 2005 Megan was going to Buenos Aires (Argentina) to study for 18 months or so and obtain a Masters through a Rotary Fellowship. I understand that they agreed it didn't make much sense to continue to explore the relationship given her imminent departure. For some reason, they wisely abandoned that "common sense" and continued to date.

We first met Megan in December at a local restaurant. It was apparent that they were smitten -- Barb said after the dinner that "Drew's a goner"

As scheduled, Megan left for Buenos Aires. Drew flew down for at least two visits and requested a year's leave from CDH. In August 2005, he flew down and spent a year in Buenos Aires. During that year, they also went to Northern Ireland for a few months so Megan could complete an internship with UNESCO. And they travelled to Peru, Bolivia and countless trips within Argentina. Just before he returned to the US to start the 2006-07 school year, Drew and Megan travelled to Machu Picchu. After a long hike up to the mountain top, he proposed. Here's a couple of photos:































Drew returned home and resumed teaching in late August, 2006. Megan returned just before Christmas and secured a position administering a Ford Foundation grant for a national philanthropic and advocacy group in early 2007.

And yesterday they exchanged vows in front of friends and family. We couldn't be happier or prouder. Below is a photo of the expanded Mons family.



Oh, one more thing. We get to expand again when our other son, Matt, and his fiance, Molly, are wed. They're that young couple on the far left next to Drew and Megan. We'll be as happy and proud then as we are today!

Over a year's gone by

And my brother asked if I ever made entries to my blog.

Well, I've got a great entry to go next and I'll see about adding an entry at least every other day.

I'll be better.

I'll be better.

I'll be better.

Laughing out loud!