My stepmother, Ardyce Gilna Horner Mons, turned 90 this past Sunday. Ardyce has six sons: four are "biological" -- Jim, Burke, Bob and Dave. My brother Roy and I are the "inherited" sons from her second marriage to my dad. (Dad and Ardyce started dating when I was a Junior in college and Roy a junior in high school. Three years later they were married.) All of her sons attended as did many daughters-in-law and family.
Ardyce suffers from Multiple System Atrophy -- a progressive and degenerative disease which is somewhat similar to Parkinsons. She's in a nursing home and her oldest son, Jim Horner (along with his wife, Pam), has done a spectacular job of coordinating care, etc. Another son, Bob and his wife, Judy, also live in the area and spend a fair amount of time with her.
Alec, Barb and I visited her last summer and at that time Ardyce was admitted to hospice care. (Typically hospice care is offered only when the physician and staff believe that end of life is near -- generally within six months -- and is intended to help the patient manage care in a palliative mode rather than treatment.) We thought we had said our goodbyes.
But we hadn't ... we had a second chance!
A few weeks ago, Jim called and told me that the four Horner brothers were planning on attending her birthday and he suggested we might want to attend as well. (Apparently when Jim told Ardyce that the four Horners were going to be there, she pointedly asked "And what about my other sons?" You can't refuse an invitation like that!!)
Visiting Ardyce last summer, we had all noticed how tired she became and how difficult it was for her to converse. So we were a bit apprehensive ... that was exacerbated by a couple of phone calls I'd made after the holidays when she wasn't really able to talk over the phone.
However, she truly was energized by the event.
We visited her Saturday morning and she seemed to be doing okay. Not great but okay. We had a brief visit since we didn't want to wear her out before the party.
When we came in for the party Sunday, we were amazed. She had a nice outfit on, her hair had been styled (kudos to the staff who did it!!) and she was bright-eyed and very talkative.
The event started a bit before 1:00 and ran for a bit more than three hours. During that time, she heard toasts, a few short remarks from her sons and family, received phone calls from many of her grandchildren, relatives, and friends. Through it all she stayed alert and cracked a few jokes plus delivered a few verbal elbow jabs!
It was truly a wonderful, affirming and amazing party! I'm sure glad that my dad persisted in proposing until he wore her down! She's given us a lot before this but we truly received a gift of how to live a life on that Sunday!
Here's some photos that I took. Others were much better in getting snap shots so I'll probably add some later on. But if you would like a photo, feel free to right click on the images and download it. If you'd instead like a larger photo with higher resolution, let me know and I'll e-mail them to you. (Most of the original photos are 8x10s and at 300dpi resolution) I also have a couple of brief videos from the party ... let me know if you'd like me to e-mail them to you.
(above) My brother, Roy, with Ardyce as he tries to explain another escapade!
(below) Our son, Alec, with Grandma! Alec also loved getting to meet two new uncles and having five uncles around to talk to.
(below) Ardyce and Hilda, her friend and roommate. Ardyce has had several roommates but the relationships have been fairly poor. She and Hilda get along very well and Hilda spends a lot of time encouraging Ardyce. We really appreciate her assistance and good cheer!
No comments:
Post a Comment